MR. WIT Mistakes on a resume

“Personal: I’m married with 9 children. I don’t require prescription drugs.”

“I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.”

“Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I’m a class act and do not come cheap.”

“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”

“Marital Status: Often. Children: Various.”